The long and short of it

I'm back!!

2007-02-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

La la la la. I’m back. With my happy song “la la la la (pause) la la la la”… I wonder if anyone’s even going to be reading this because my blog has been officially declared by many as DEAD. And as I stare at this dead blog, fond memories flood my mind about the lovely days this blog had seen with many many comments from fellow bloggers as well as friends whom I would hold at gun point to read the nonsense I wrote. Some friends would read ad leave spiteful, rude remarks on my blog….but since it’s a part of my personality to be rude, and being born as a thick skinned buffalo, I brushed aside the rude remarks. Bu those days were fun as well. Now my blog lies unattended, gathering dust and sick comments by anti social elements, rusting, rotting and dying an inglorious death.

So why have I not blogged for so long?
For starters, I didn’t bother blogging simply because I was engrossed in writing a little too much. And writing some really really strange things. I, divya nair, one day, a couple of years ago decided that studying abroad would be ahappy idea. Litlle did I know the amount I would have to suffer because of that random thought that floated in on some idle Thursday afternoon. Because every application that I sent demanded a terrible thing they like to call te ‘STATEMENT OF PURPOSE’ which is my opinion is a complete waste for someone as aimless and shameless as me. So there I was, battling sop’s and listing things like my favourite colour, my mother’s date of birth, my brother’s shirt size, favourite books, food in addition to why I want to study journalism in their university in the U.K/U.S. And as if all this torture wasn’t enough, I had to run from pillar to post begging people for reference letters. So in all this, I had little time to blog.

I hope to blog more this year…but then that’s also subject to whether people still read my blog or not…I know. I cheap and cheri.

Now time for a riddle.
what's the difference between a fly and a mosquito??
a mosquito can fly but fly cant mosquito!! haha!!

an ode to the fancy phone.

2006-10-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

So we go to Git's party and nina excitedly starts clicking pictures of people there. With her fancy-shmancy phone ofcourse...she kept showing off..until people got annoyed. Anyways, the next day i asked her to send me the pics and she sent them. I opened them to find dark, reddish-black horrible ghost like images, supposedly pics of us. So git and i are not amused. I believe that this happened because nina's phone was dead for few days after it fell off when nina fell down. So after it came alive, it decided t punish nina and not take nice pictures. nina of course lives in denial. she says the pictures were bad because of poor lighting. WHATEVER!
ok so in the midst of this discussion bout the phone, git's whips up an ode to nina's phone. So here goes...one of the best pieces of impromptu writing...

An ode to nina's fancy phone-by Gitanjali Raman

"you came into our lives and sang us songs
you went with nina far and beyond
but when nina dropped you down
you died and now take pictures like kakka brown
at first you were dark and slick
but now your pictures make us sick
you still play ninas (mostly) cheri songs
but when i see your snaps i think i need to smoke a bong
true kaiwan gave her you
and when she sees you she wants to coo
so did we at first when we saw
post your near death i think you should go hee haw
yes divya pays no attention to this ode
although she claims that she is bored
but i feel for you as i write these words
you were once quite glorious but now absurd
peace be with you dear phone of ninas
you will sing and sing like mynahs
your soul is in cell phone paradise
though your body is stuck in ninas pants backside"
amen

Now don't you think that's amazing....i do!

15 reasons why I love being a girl

2006-09-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

1. I can wear fuchsia pink whenever and however I want. and no..guys are NOT supposed to wear pink...And definitely not hot pink.
2. I can drive the way I want to on the road and be pardoned.
3. Lip gloss!
4....And shoes and bags and happy clothes of course! (as shallow as it may sound)
5.mehendi ceremonies
6.actually even golu..because I've been getting some great food lately!
7.separate queues at theatres.
8.the fact that I can smile/cry my way through a lotta tough situations in life
9.in case of accidents, public will always be on my side.
10.special treatment by virtue of gender that includes being pampered.
11.having guy friends who are protective..esp at theatre...it feels damn good...
12.secrets..gossip..and non stop talking.
13.my tiny diamond studded nose ring(stud actually)
I can slime out of mundane things like cooking by pretending to be busy with work and saying things like "I don't know how to cook and don't find the need to as of now"...I also have the option of sliming out of work by saying things like "my mum's outta town so I was engaged in domestic chores like cooking and cleaning the house"...MUAHAHAHAHA..I'm soo evil!
15.because we're capable of appreciating smaller and finer aspects of life and not just some football game.

I'm not saying it's a bed of roses all the day but being a girl is soo much fun! I wouldn't wanna be a guy in a million years..it isn't possible for me to put in writing why I love being a girl..but that's just the way it is...

Poverty-the commodity of the day

2006-08-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

With 24 Hr news channels mushrooming by the day, news goes on. Death takes first place when in comes to sensationalising and catching attention. Sometimes it's Rakhi Sawant instead of death and gore, but news had become predictable. Depressing, boring and sometimes even obscene. And i firmly believe that there isn't enough news to feed 24hr news channels. So that leads to a whole host of other issues such as an entire hour dedicated to what's happenning in the different Ekta Kapoor dramas, or another hour wasted on why Shahrukh Khan's house was burgled or the like....there's one channel that has an anchor who looks perenially hysterically happy and goes into all the night clubs of bombay and gushes into the camera about how sunny deol decided to celebrate his friend's birthday...i mean is she under the impression that sunny deol or his kith and kin are of any consequence or importance to us?
But anyways, the point i was trying to make was something else..and i rambled on instead as always..sorry...
I saw a story on one of the channels which talks about 'Slum Tourism' in bombay....and I was really shocked. Some imbecile of a man acts as a guide and takes even more riduculous firangs into Dharavi and shows off the inhuman conditions of the biggest slum in he world. It's sick. Selling poverty! is poverty a commodity to sell!! WTF is happening to the world around us? Slum tourism? And those idiot foreigners in their barely there clothes chirp into the camera "well yes, the conditions are really bad and there's such a lot of poverty to be witnessed..but what's amazing is the amount of labour that's involved in the slum and the number of people who manage to live here" Really? That's news to me!And i wouldn't have ever figured it out hadn't mr firang and his girl friend who're busy touring poverty sticken india told me...I shall remain indebted to them forever..
Sheesh...i didn't expect things to get so bad...or maybe i'm just over reacting..i don't know..but I'm really mad after seeing this. Hence this rude post.
But i can't help thinking. Slum Tourism now. What next?

Civilization of man...really?

2006-07-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

As civilized as we claim to be as a race, there are certain times when I want to run around the city screaming out “we’re super barbaric.” And believe me, anyone who’s ever had the (mis)fortune of visiting a beauty parlour with the sole purpose of getting yourself waxed, will agree with me.
Firstly, a trip to the parlour means a helluva lot of entertainment. Besides seeing women covered in creams of various colours with cucumber(!) on their eyes, you also get to hear the most hilariously pseudo conversations about how their dog is suffering from PMS or how their daughter is India’s greatest sailing champion or about their brother-in-law with some fancy-shmancy name, visiting them from some Belgium brought them diamonds. And if you decided to ignore these entertaining conversations and read instead, then the only reading material you’ll ever get is some femina/cosmopolitan/women’s era/ or the like, that will undoubtedly succeed in making you feel uglier than ever before.
Ok so brave all this nonsense and decide to go into the parlour anyways. Then comes the barbaric aspect I was talking about. It’s a known fact that women go to great lengths to look good, but I think waxing takes the cake. Here’s how it goes. Wax is heated..yes heated so it becomes hot and gooey and sicky. Then they take a butter knife and spread it over your arms, legs, etc( I don’t wanna go into details). Then finally, they take a strip of plastic, put it over the hot wax and then rip it off!! Aaaaaaah!! Take my word, it isn’t even remotely adventurous to wax! Every single time I go to wax, I wish that women’s lib reigned supreme and I didn’t have to do it ever…but no..I find myself in the same place over and over…sadly.
And then there are also other barbaric acts that happen all the time at the parlour. Threading of eyebrows, slapping and whacking people ruthlessly in the name of massage, plucking blackheads and other things mercilessly, colouring/straightening/perming which eventually leads to baldness…well the list goes on and on.
But there’s one thing that beats all this, and very, very few women actually have the courage to go through it…it’s called a Brazilian wax…and it undoubtedly takes the cake…I’d rather not think or write about it..
I feel bad and there’s nothing else I can do other than writing a blog and sharing my woes. But one thing’s for sure: if not man, the women at the parlour are sure uncivilized.

From filter kaapi to Ivy League

2006-07-06T03:28:00.000-07:00

A dedication to Lakshmi, Gitanjali, Varsha, Kaushik, and all the other tam Brahms I know…

Disclaimer: This is entirely my view on Tamil Brahmins. They’re fondly referred to as tam brams and I’ve used the same for convenience. If you are the type who’ll feel sad that I’m giving them all the attention and not your community, then please go away. This is exclusively about tam brams. I do not welcome rude comments that may wage regional wars.

I don’t know if I sound like prude, but I’m very clannish. I vociferously argue for the sake of mallus (ok I know mallus’s aren’t a small community or downtrodden, but I still fight for them)…I’m all for mallu land and mallus. But if there was any single community of people I’d actually be totally at home with other than mallus, it would just have to be the delightful ‘tam-brams’
I’ve had tons of friends who’re tam brams, and there are some things about them that I totally love. For starters, they’re one of the smartest communities in the entire country, and when I say smart, I mean they’re academically super brilliant. Half my life I’ve spent competing with these guys at various levels: academics, music, oratorical events, writing..I mean they’re good at everything! It’s almost unfair! As a rule, almost every tam bram finishes school with flying colours and gets into some super college. But it doesn’t end with that. They’ll apply to some 10 universities abroad (read America), get accepted into all 10 of which 5 will be part of the ivy league. Then they’ll live in america, dutifully come back to madras, marry a nice, homely, boy/ponnu and go ’back home’ to america. The minimum qualification for a tam bram is PhD. Period. But the best part if all is that despite their academic brilliance, they also find time to go for paatu/dance classes. If it’s not one of these two, then they learn to play an instrument, the violin being a popular choice, with Mridangum and Veena closely following. Otherwise they’ll excel in theatre, or art or the like. I think it comes to them naturally…by birth.
And it’s also possible to carry out a sensible conversation with them about anything under the sun. They’re nice, non-aggressive and loads of fun to be with. Besides, their filter coffee is without doubt, the greatest contribution to mankind, not to mention a host of other mouth watering delicacies.
And after intense debate, discussions, thought and study I’ve realised the secret of their success: thayir saadam and oorga.
But one thing’s for sure: if I don’t marry a mallu, I’l surely marry a tam bram *blush blush*, and if I don’t, and end up having kids with my mallu husband, I’ll undoubtedly stuff my baby with thayir saadam right from day one…
All hail tam brams
*****************************************************************
On a different note, I seem to be losing my readers. For obvious reasons I guess. And I’m feeling quite bad about it… so all of you reading this…please comment!! Otherwise I’ll be forced to shut shop! *sniff*

To pee or not to pee

2006-06-26T03:56:00.000-07:00

This post is inspired by Sush, and is a topic I feel strongly about. Read at your own risk.

For the 12 longs years that I lasted in school, I don’t remember a single day when I haven’t come back home with a bladder that’s almost burst. I could never get myself to pee in the school loos, and every day, without fail would charge into my house like a hurricane, hurl my bag at whoever opened the door and run into the loo like one mad person….bad times they were I tell you!! And unfortunately things haven’t changed even now. I can’t get myself to use the loos at college and hence suffer greatly due to my obsession with clean loos…and I always assume that public toilets by default are TERRIBLE to say the least. I also hate ads that show the sickest of toilets!! Chee!! How can someone show how terribly they maintain their toilets on TV? No brains and shame or what? And they display it so proudly and as if they’ve never heard of a concept called Harpic for all the years they’ve lived on this planet. Forget aids awareness, people should be given toilet awareness. Distribute free Harpic instead of condoms and save the planet!! It ought to be made a national issue.
And all you men out there…the road is not a free for all loo. So spare us the sickening sight.

Blank noise project

2006-06-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

On a serious note, i'm sure most of you'll have heard about the Blank Noise project, and more recently it's Blog-a-thon. Those of you who don't, please visit www.blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com.
Well Jamseen who conceptualised the entire thing was in Chennai yesterday and a few of us(that's about 5 in all) met up with her. We've planned an intervention on the 24th, Saturday at around 6 at Gemini Circle. So if you're interested, please join us, or contact us or whatever's convenient. We'd love to have as many people as possible.
The last intervention at Chennai was on 28th May at besant nagar....Do get back to us at the earliest if you're interested and you support the cause.

Ben, Pingu and Spidey

2006-05-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody. Say hello to Ben. Ben is the dead, stuffed scorpion that lies on a bed of cotton that’s encased in a glass frame. What he’s doing in my house, I really don’t know, but every 31/2 hrs my brother threatens to hang Ben up on the wall in my room!! My room!!?? What nonsense! Considering I live in perpetual fear of all creatures that move including homo sapiens( actually I’m scared of most human beings as well)..but never mind that..the point is how dare my mad brother threaten to hang an ugly dead scorpion, that incidentally has a label that says “THE SCORPION” (yeah right..since it would take a genius to figure that out!!) in my room! He also forces me to wish Ben good night. Can you beat that!!
But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised since I’ve been subject to such madness regarding ugly insects for very long. My brother is highly fascinated by various living species that happily crawl in and out of my house whenever they please….and I on the other hand, detest them with all my heart. I spray soap water on ants and spiders and once i tried to kill a lizard by spraying it with baygon insect repellent. Unfortunately it didn't die. Instead it fell on the floor with a sick 'pluck' sound...i then followed it for a while around the garden with my weapon. But finally it hid under a plant where i just couldn't spot it. Hence i like animals best when they're at the zoo. I’m scared of dogs as well. The ones on the roads and the ones that live in my friends’ houses. And all of them without exception say “oh don’t worry. He wont bite. he’s a friendly harmless dog“. now really, do I look that stupid to believe that a creature with sharp teeth that scratches, jumps, licks and sniffs will not bite me if I stray into it’s house. It’s a proven fact that dogs and babies do not like me at all. So I don’t like them in return. Therefore I stay away from dogs, and babies sometimes..actually I’m scared that babies will piss on me and hence never offer to carry a baby unless I’m dead sure it wears diapers.
But as fate will have it, I always land up in some ridiculous encounters with these creepy crawly creatures. Let me tell you about pingu. Now Pingu is..was… an orange-ish, red frog that hopped into my house one rainy evening…he used to live in a potted plant that’s placed in the living room. As long as he was out of my sight, I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that I had to co-exist with some slime ball of a frog in my house. So one night, I was sitting up late, and the rest of my family had gone upstairs. And finally, like at some 11.30-12, I decided to go upstairs when suddenly I see Pingu sitting on the stairs. The first stair of a flight of stairs. I froze, because I was petrified he’d jump if I moved. So I stood there like for I don’t know how long. But then I had like the greatest brainwave ever. I quietly took out my cell and called my landline. My bro picks up. Our conversation was something like this :
Hello..adi..will u pls come down
Why?
Because there’s a feakin red poisonous frog sitting on the steps
So?
I can’t come up ok!! will you please come down ans shoo him away?
No..come up by yourself( what a helpful little boy!)
Pls. I cant move( I don’t know why I said that) come down now you idiot!!
Fine(sounding quite mad)
Ok so my brave brother comes down and shoos Pingu away..and I walk upstairs in peace. But the next morning I find that my brother’s captured Pingu in box, drilled holes into it and promptly takes it to school to show off to his biology teacher and friends. Then he comes back and announces magnanimously that he freed Pingu in to our garden backside…thank god for small mercies. Even today my brother lives in the hope that Pingu will return.

Then there was also this spider whom my brother called Spidey. He believed it belonged to some rare species of arachnoids. He used to kill one mosquito religiously everyday and take it to spidey’s web and place it there…for supper, I believe. I later heard that Spidey was eaten… I'm secretly happy about it, however sadistic and evil i may sound.

Oh and how could i forget Dots, the friendly neighbourhood butterfly…but that’s another story…another day perhaps…

india falling

2006-05-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

When I went to food world recently, I almost cried…. Actually it was an after effect of my trip to Dubai a couple of weeks ago. In the super markets over there, the aisle that has ketchup alone is the size of food world. They have an entire section for tissue paper alone.. I mean how many different types of tissues paper can you get!! It’s almost unfair. The sheer abundance of everything, and it’s vulgar display subsequently made me wanna bawl when I went to food world and saw the measly sachets of shampoo and the tiny cups of yoghurt. In Dubai they sell yoghurts in buckets. Fried chicken and ice cream is also in buckets…. It’s not fair… why can’t we buy detergent in packs of 10 kilos? Why why?
This is my fourth trip to Dubai and I continue to remain awestruck…why the hell can’t we have roads like those abroad? Do we have to necessarily break every signal, ram into dividers so they’re no longer dividing anything, pretend like you’ve never heard of something called lanes on roads, and well if you’re an ugly green bus then stop in the middle and add to the ongoing mayhem!! And then how can we forget the great Indian cow who believes that the road is his shit pot and uses it to his disposal.
Why can’t we be more disciplined? Or clean? Or hygienic? Whether you like it or not, Indians have no respect abroad. Because we litter, behave uncivilised, yell, and in general behave cheap.
When I was on a trip to Europe last summer, most of the staff at hotels dread having Indians because they specialise at giving them a hard time. They refuse to acknowledge the fact that abroad, water can be had straight off the taps. Instead they hound the staff at restaurant and end up filing up bottles from jugs of water kept at the buffet table…they perennially mess up their rooms, and despite repeated instructions of not eating food in the buses they travel in, they dirty the place with murukku, thepla and god knows what else!!
When people keep raving about how India’s out to become the greatest country, I smile politely. Because no one seems to understand the fact that with this basic sick nature of ours, we’re not gonna get anywhere. Well what is it that is missing? What is it that needs to be corrected? It’s an attitude problem….we’re stuck in a mindset of complacency. Of limited achievements. We don’t strive to achieve a better standard of living. We’re not ready to make an effort to make a difference. We’re just happy with the cows on the roads, corrupt politicians, bribery, caste barriers, and communal differences. We’ve learnt to live with the potholes and uncovered gutters. We don’t care. We’re just indifferent. And no. we’re not gonna make it anywhere with this attitude. We can’t even compare ourselves to a developed nation because we can’t even keep our own roads clean.
Why would anyone who’s not a part of the backward caste, or schedule tribe even want to live in his country? Hindu’s are a minority all over the world other than in India. Yet we don’t get minority preference anywhere. Why such double standards? And if my country hs nothing to offer me, why should I stay on and be part of the rat race?
What is the future of this country? Acquiring nuclear power and making cell phones accessible to everyone is not development. The change must come from within. A change is inexorable.
And may god help us get past this.

Be cool. Slurp Slurp.

2006-05-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

All hail me. I’m the solution to all your forthcoming political problems. For I am going to contest in the next elections. And my party’s called the ice cream party. I’m the president. Our motto is be cool. Slurp slurp.
Yes. I have realised that ice cream is the solution to the great nation. Everybody is happy when they eat ice cream. My symbol is an ice cream cone with a scoop of ice cream on it.
I will not give speeches. I will only give ice creams. I will rally not on raths and ambassador cars, but will travel alongside an ice cream cart and ring a bell as I move from place to place. When people come to meet me, I will give them ice creams. The only thing I will ever say is be cool. Slurp slurp. Oh and I forgot to mention. I will give the people the flavour of their choice. No one will be forced to eat a flavour they don’t favour.
If anybody opposes me, I will shove an ice cream on their face and subdue them.
I also intend to set up ice cream factories all over the country. This will generate employment, and also bring about white revolution 2. It will put Amul and Anand to shame. It will greatly aid economic development.
When people go to the polling booths t cast their vote, I will stand outside and give each voter an ice cream. So when they go inside they will look at the ice cream cone in their hand and vote for its replica on the screen. This way I will win the election. This way the cows of this countries will also find a reason for their existence. They’ll stop roaming the streets aimlessly. Hence it will enhance world peace.
And finally, when I come to power, I will supply all families, not just the poor, with one litre ice cream in the flavour of their choice every month for free.
Undoubtedly with my ingenious scheme, I will become the forthcoming chief minister of this state.
I know all of you will support me in my mission. In my endeavour to make this state the coolest state in the history of our country.
Oh, and do drop in which flavour you like. I’m doing a survey on the most loved flavour. The flavour of the masses.
Be cool. Slurp slurp.

Ramblings

2006-04-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

I always land up in stupid situations. Maybe I bring them upon myself, but somehow I end up in these nonsensical situations.

I honestly don’t know why and how. But to my surprise and horror, I recently discovered that I possess only 27 teeth. Really. Not 28 like everyone else. I have 14 teeth in my upper jaw or whatever..and only 13 in the lower jaw…I’m sure. I counted like a zillion times. I got some other unsuspecting members of my family also to peer into my mouth. Don’t be grossed out. I don’t have bad breath. I assure you. Ok but the point is that I have some teeth less in my mouth.
What do I do? Will I die? Did I swallow a tooth? Where the hell is it?... I pestered my family with all these questions. They yelled at me for being jobless and obsessed with myself. They even started ignoring me eventually. But really, I’m feeling quite sad that I don’t have a tooth. I’m one toothless. No actually five teeth less. because i don't possess a single wisdom tooth either.
I'm slightly freaked by that. oh god!!!

Then there’s my internship. I’m doing it at NDTV Profit. It’s BUSINESS!! I was a science student in school and I’m doing arts in college. End result: I’m commerce illiterate. So then here I am, battling balance sheets, sequential growth, revenues, turnovers, basis points, attrition values, operating profits, margins, FII, the soaring sensex, markets, quarter results, investment options, mid caps, crores and crores of money and a whole lot of other bull. While my fellow intern, and close friend happily skips away to cover politics or some happy, reglar, understandable stuff, i'm stuck with press conferences and corporate buffons. But surprisingly, none of this is half as complicated as it sounds. I’m actually beginning to understand all of it!! Happy times!! Highlight: I covered a launch by myself. I actually asked questions about the revenue and turnover and stuff. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a business journalist in a year’s time!!

Then there was this auto I got into early one morning. I was half asleep, when suddenly the auto jerked to a halt. I woke up. Sadly. Outside there was mayhem. Some chit of a boy had landed himself in front of the auto while riding his bicycle senslessly and aimlessly. So after getting out of the way, the agitated, burly and thug-like auto man sped towards the small boy, got hold of his collar and whacked him, while the poor child stood motionless in shock. Yes, an auto driver slapped some kutty boy on the road because he came in his way. I wanted to laugh really hard..because i'm a horrible and strange person who laughs when people are beaten up or fall down(not because i'm a sadist. i find it funny for some strange reason.i know.i'm mean). But then I was vaguely scared that the auto dude might turn back and slap me. So I shut up instead. Of course, i laughed later on to make up for the contained laughter.

Then one day I almost drowned in 5 ft of water(despite my height being more that 5ft) because I am a swimming loser. As in, I’m basically an under achiever. And the same holds good with regards to my swimming. I end up drinking oodles of water, land up with some dreadful infections/diseases and continue to swim as poorly as ever. God help me.

la la la la(pause)la la la la..that's my happy song. And only my real friends would know how to sing that. But the reason i'm singing it here is that i'm finally going to be out of this wretched city and back to madras. so la la la la(pause)la la la la.
in case anyone wants to know how to sing my happy song, feel free to contact me.

Bangalore blues

2006-04-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: This is entirely my view of the city. It does not intend to hurt anybody's feelings. If you get hurt in the process, it's not my fault. Deal with it yourself. Don't send me mails threatening to send me to jail for voicing my frustrations, just because you're an extra touchy, weirdo.
P.S: the disclaimer is in reaction to my previous post which sparked quite an issue..
I also know that by the time you reach the end of this post, you'll think i'm boring... but then again, it's part of my personality to be boring. So continue reading only if you're ready to bear boredom and bangalore bashing :)

God! This place is killing me....
I've been in this city for over two weeks now and I can't wait to get back to Madras. The weather is bad... I mean it's hot, plus you don't sweat. So I feel like I have toxins stuck in my skin.YUCK.And my face is full of bulges because of fat, insect bites, and pimples. And because of the sick weather of course.
And then the pseudo, hep, and horrible crowd in this city...I CAN'T SURVIVE THIS CITY!!! People don't seem to do anything other than getting dressed in wired clothes with shit loads of make up, and go from mall to mall. All malls are full, and to get to these malls these people crowd the roads. Or if they aren't in the malls they're in restaurants and pubs. Sadness.
And then there's my work. It's highly depressing to watch these broadcast journos run after people and sound bytes. I mean their sole aim in life is to flash their news before CNBC or Headlines today does. I mean, they literally run..Like I felt like PT Usha today running after the reporter who was running after some buffoon to grab a byte. I know..It's highly pathetic. I think I like print better..But then again...I dunno. I'm confused. As always.
Plus I realized that it's important to look nice if you have to appear on screen. Thus, by default, I don't qualify as a prospective broadcast journalist.
Another reason why I lost respect for this place is the way it reacted to rajkumar's death. Those maniacs even beat up one of pur camera people. Horrible fellow :P
Ok enough of cribbing for a day. I'll continue to blabber in my next post after I'm done with my NDTV..

Pepsi with roopa acharya and making friendship.

2006-03-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

This is a true story. About Pepsi begging.
All characters in this story are real, still exist in flesh and blood and continue to live in fear and terror of many more such Pepsi beggars.
There are 3 people involved in this story..Sorry 4..I kinda forgot the beggar. Anyway, getting back to the story, once a nice pretty girl called roopa acharya, decided to buy herself a glass of Pepsi. Yes, the same Pepsi that she would grow to detest in the days to come. But then, during the period of our story, she still drank Pepsi. So roopa, one day along with her friend, who's name I don't remember, as she plays no significant role in the story, set out in an auto with a Pepsi in roopa's hand. roopa sat on the inside, near the auto's window or whatever you call the place opposite the side you get into the auto, which is almost as big as the auto door, and sometimes even proves to be a seat when more than 6 people cram into the ugly yellow auto.
sorry for the digression, but roopa sat near the auto window with the glass of toilet-cleaner Pepsi in her hand...Sipping it slowly like a cuppa hot coffee, humming a little tune and also engaging in conversations with the insignificant friend. Suddenly the auto that was running at a sped of 70kms an hour, which is normal for an ugly yellow madras auto at peak hours, came to a screeching halt. It was another signal. A hindrance in the smooth flow of Pepsi drinking. But roopa's glass of Pepsi continued to be her companion, other than the insignificant friend and auto man in the auto.
And then, suddenly roopa's Pepsi vanished from her hand. Yes!! Her companion Pepsi ceased to exist. As she pondered along with her friend and auto man, she looked out of the auto window and realized that a beggar child/beggar boy/little rascal had snatched her Pepsi from her hand through the auto window!!
SMART BOY!
so what did my dear friend roopa do?? NOTHING. She just stared out longingly at her Pepsi friend. Even auto man and insignificant friend did nothing.
today, roopa continues to live with the pain and the mental scar the Pepsi beggar left, though it hounds her every second!! aaah! It pains me to even think of it.

My life and my friends

2006-03-22T03:13:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: This post is almost entirely subjective. but I guess all blogs are subjective, which means that it isn't much of a disclaimer. Anyways, all opinions expressed are true and rudeness in writing is not to be taken seriously.
This post is a dedication to my friends..From college mostly. So it may sound boring and rude to people who don't know me. But you could try reading it to see if I end up insulting someone you know.. Like a common friend or something.

So here goes...My life and my friends:

Today, as I wasted my time at home, staring into outer space instead of studying or having bath, or indulging in any constructive activity, I realized I was shabbily dressed. My hair hadn't been washed in days..And I hadn't paid a visit to the parlor in a month. Which meant that I currently possess bushy eyebrows(so much so that people LOOK at my eyebrows when they talk to me) and unwaxed hands and legs.
The fact of the matter is that I have never NEVER cared about the way I looked. It's surprising since I have friends who care about their looks, way more than have ever done in my entire life time. The way I looked has never been of consequence to me.
I have always believed that friends in some small way or the other influence people. But my friends have never had the desired effect on me. What follows is what I would have been had my friends influenced me:

Nina Mehta: My model friend( i.e she's a model..), I'd be well dressed, groomed and more conscious about how others dressed, talked, walked, how their bra looks through their Tee, the color of their shoes and many more interesting details.
Lakshmi Kumaraswami: My confidante and auto pal, I'd be 20 kilos thinner!!
Gitanjali Raman: The love of my life( no..I'm straight), I'd be hip and happening with shit loads of friends, parties, booze, weed, and colored hair.
Anna Saju: I'd have mastered the art of writing good blogs, whining, and chicken would have been the love of my life. Not Gitanjli.
Maria Koshy: I'd have been in med school had I studied as hard as her..
Madhav Ravindranth: I would have definitely been a more helpful soul..Less self centered perhaps
Vindhya : Symbiosis :)) I'm not saying anything more.
Susmita Biswas:My YS buddy!! I'd have been strong and assertive in voicing my views..But wait..I am strong in voicing my views. Well ok, I'd like to be a linguist like her.
Aparna V: I'd have brought nice food to college everyday!! But I don't. That's the cheap me.
Saumya Pandey: Undoubtedly, I would have been the nicest, kindest, most soft spoken girl on this planet.
Tejas Prithvi: I'd be quiet, never talk too much and NEVER embarrass my friends in public. (considering i'm someone who's a constant sourse of embarrassment to those around me because of my uncouth behaviour)
Deepika Pethe: I'd be 6 Ft, white and wouldn't give a damn about anyone or anything.

These are just some of my friends...But instead of being gorgeous, well groomed, slim, sensible, nice, kind, hip, tall and sophisticated, I'm not gorgeous, sloppy, mad, rude, not tall, un-hip, friend embarrassing, bad-blog writing, brown journalist cum student. And i love my friends.
But that's me. And I have no problems with it :)

Porcupines and dead turtles on a saturday night

2006-03-17T19:31:00.000-08:00

It was a nice saturday evening. It would eventually become a nice saturday night. But before it became the nice saturday night, whilst it was still the nice saturday evening, i had a conversation with my close friends. It went on the lines of what we would do this nice saturday evening and night. now by virtue of just being the great persn i am, had a neat plan. I said we could go for the LTS play, and then go for a Turtle walk in the night. Definitely my idea of a great saturday. But my friends (read closest friend) thought otherwise. She wanted to go to Mocha( i kinda detest that place) and then go 'for alcohol' as she put it wierdly.
My friend and i have known each other for eons.. But suddenly, that nice saturday evening, the stark difference in our individual ideas of having a good time, kinda hit me hard. Somewhere along that nice saturday evening i felt that we'd truly become different individuals. So we went our ways. I went for the play with another set of friends, and she met up with our common friends.
The nice saturday evening in due course of time became the nice saturday night.
At 11.30 p.m i found myself huddled in an auto with a bunch of friends making my way to Neelangarai beach. We got there tp find similar souls wandering in to brave the turtle walk that would expect us to walk aome 7 kms through the east coast in search of Olive Ridley turtles. Actually we didn't have to search. We just had to follow 4 guys who'd walk a mile ahead of us and spot the turtle or its egg, and all we had to do was flash a coupla torch liights and marvel at the eggs, or the dead turtles in our case since we failed to see any live ridley turtle, and ofcourse, hold an egg or two in you hand and flash your teeth at the camera to make it seem like you just won the Bharath ratna.
As adventurous as it was to walk down the beach with the ocassional brush of waves at your feet and the clear skies with the perfect sea breeze completing the experience, it also took us tremendous amount of concentration to make sure we didn't step onto human shit( courtesy fishermen) or crack the shells of crabs that constantly scrurried across your feet, or walk into trash, garbage, that is sincerely dumped onto the coast making it one long, never ending garbage dump. And how could i forget the silly dog that followed us, barking, for a really long time, during which i realised i had no place to go if the dog chased me because the ocean would provide me with no protection whatsoever. The stench was indeed unbearable. The fishing settlement all along the coast seem to have ensured that they WILL NOT keep the place clean for whatever reason it may be.
But on the brighter side, we found a 130 little eggs, lots of dead turtle( ok now tha not so nice) and many more dead Puffer fish. Sorry to sound juvenlie, but these fish are really ugly. They're fat with spines(or whatever you call those thing) with eyes that almost stick out of the body. And one fellow first-time walker spontaneously excalimed on stumbling upon one "oh look!!there's a Porcupine!!". Yes, porcupines on the beach. Dead.
But the happiest moment of all : i walked 7 kms in one day. One night..

help

2006-03-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

PLEASE HELP:
I'm doing a story on how students/professionals and people from different walks of life are into blogging. It's a completely chennai centric story and i'd like all those who read this to give in their comments on how they got into blogging and why;what keeps you hooked to it and interesting events with regards to blogging. Actually just 'bout any comment on what you think bout blogging will suffice.
So please chip in and tell me what u think.

nursery rhymes!!yikes!!

2006-02-25T06:06:00.000-08:00

Life's getting worse by the day.
Exams are over. It's a weekend and i'm sitting at home doing just about nothing constructive, save reading 'THE SISTER OF MY HEART' a book by an indian writer that talks about the usual indian family saga. sadness.poverty.dreadful in-laws.suppressed and opressed protagonist.life abroad and its indian perspective.
i'm quite sick of reading the same books. I'd appreciate some suggestions for a good read.
why do indian writers, most often than not, talk about sad things?? I mean i don't think life in india is so miserable that it has to be written about over and over. And what's more irritating is how indians live abroad, esp the U.S

And in the midst of brooding over rather boring life, i stumbled upon another fact of life: MOST NURSUREY RHYMES ARE MORBID. For instance

Jack and Jill go to fetch water. They fall down and break their freakin heads!!WTF!!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell down and the kings horses and men couldn't even save the poor chap! how sad!

here's another rather evil one:
3 blind mice(fancy potraying mice as blind!) ran after the farmer's wife, WHO CUT OFF THIER TAILS WITH A CARVING KNIFE!!aaaah!! whoever heard of things like this!!blasphemy!!

this takes the cake though:
Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree topWhen the wind blows, the cradle will rockWhen the bough breaks, the cradle will fallAnd down will come baby, cradle and all
WHY WOULD YOU EVER EVER TELL A BABY THAT HE/SHE'S GONNA FALL DOWN FROM HER CRADLE...SO GO TO SLEEP MY BABY.SLEEP.

I know that most of these rhymes hace their own history and stuff but don't you think it's rather ridiculous to teach little kinds these verses that are filled with accidents and ideas of cutting down tails of animals???

I wonder why..

The B factor

2006-02-16T01:50:00.000-08:00

I recently had a revelation:
Most of the things that constitute my life, my personality and my likes in general, start with the letter 'B'. Strange?? well it's my strange notions. read on only if u have the patience to.
For instance:
1)BOOKS: I've said it a million times and i'm saying it again...i love books.
2)BRINJAL: it happens to be my fave veggie, but is detested universally by most sane people. my grandma once told me that eating brinjals could stall brain development.whatever!!
3)BIZARRE'ness': its part of my personality. i say bizarre things. disjointed.nonsense.
4)BLUE: i like the colour blue!!which reminds me of something else....
5)BLACK: i looove this colour. more than blue actually.
6)BRAIN DEAD'ness': i was never brain dead. but off late, this seems to be my permanent state of being.
7)BROWNIES: ooooh!!yummy!!preferably warm ones with ice creams. i know...its sinful..sniff:(
8)BALCONIES: the best part of any room is its balcony, thank god i have one :)
9)BED: my love for sleep ensures that my bed's super comfy.
10)BAGS: esp jute ones. and nina says i have really nice bags. thanks nina!!
11)BREAD: my staple diet for life. apparently eating bread leads to putting on more weight. damn!!
12)BEACH: yup!my favourite place on earth despite the fact that i dont know how to swim.
13) BOREDOM: another state of being thatni get into very often. coupled with brain deadness and bizarreness can lead to postings like this.
14)BISLERI: its a long story.i wont get into it now.
15)BLABBERING: i do it all the time. this post is enough proof.

i think its getting a little too strange. i'll stop here for now. for those who don't know me, yeah, this is just about as wierd and strange as i can get. And for those who's brains i chew everyday...it's just me in my mad moments :)

:P

2006-02-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

With each passing year, valentine's day seems to getting more than its required share of hype. Now whether its good or bad, i dont know. And the funny part is that everybody who's single seems to be talking bout it. I've read more blogs bout how sad and bad v day was rather than those who aren't single talk bout how it went off well for them. I'm sick of the entire topic, esp since half my friends cant seem to stop talking bout it. I think we should quit obsessing over it...at the end of day, we all know that life moves on, immaterial of whether u celebrated this nonsense valentines day or not. Its not something to feel miserable about. Its sad to let something as trivial and insignificant as valentines day dictate your mood for the day....
Does it really really matter if u have a gf/bf for valentines day??no!!
Does it matter to anybody else who matters to u??no!!
So get over it..and move on.
i dont mean to sound cynical, but don't let all this mush and red/white heart balloon make u feel bad bout yourself.

blah

2006-02-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

it's terrible to be bored.
here i am, it's 12.30 in the night, and i'm bored outta my skull.
i can't fall asleep.i'm not able to concentrate on the assignment i'm working on about agricultural reforms, and i can't find an alternate source of entertainment.
i hate not having to do anything.it's the most horrible feeling in the world.
what do i do? there are all these wierd thoughts floating into my head. random thoughts like:

1)i need to help my mom around the house. my existence in this house has almost been reduced to a mere boarding and lodging. i contribute nil to being part of the family. i should help my mom out.
2)i should learn how to cook. it's essential for my survival, considering i plan to go abroad.
3)i'm feeling bad i couldn't tell my closest friend bout some important things happening in my life currently due to lack of privacy.i need to talk to her.
4)i need to lose weight..i just have to. so i was walking really fast+jogging on the treadmill for an hour. now my legs kinda hurt.
5)i need to write an article about The Madras Literary Society, a story i've been putting off for a month time. reflects poorly on me because journos are not supposed to procrastinate. and procrastination happens to be my middle name. now the reason i'm not doing the story is beacause i met this guy who works with the MLS and i spoke to him for an hour, and he was so boring, so boring, and said so much, that i was too sleepy to take down what he was saying. hence i possess bits and pieces which won't suffice, and i'll have to deal with my horrid editor once i file in the story.
6)I haven't been assigned a story in weeks.I dunno why.
7i wanna know how to make candles.
8)i want to read 'The Argumentative Indian'

i'm in a daze...too many things in my head that need sorting out.
boredom does this to me. Suggestions on how to deal with my present state of being are most welcome.

hate list

2006-02-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

i've always been a voracious reader.I read a lot, mostly fiction, but intelligent stuff as well, ocassionally. and in all the books i've read, there are some that stand out distinctly, simply because they're 'unreadable'. You simply can't comprehend beyond a point as to why someone would write something like that. And the funny part is that most of the books also happen to be best sellers, highly recommended ones or have probably been awarded some high funda title, which bring me to believe that it's probably just me. Evidently they happen to be my strange ideas, being the wierdo i am.
But besides that, i'm quite tolerant when it comes to books. But despite that, there are some which i really detest. And i'm sure there are loads of people out there who'll disagree with me strongly.
Here are some of the books that figure in my 'Hate List':

A Suitable Boy, by Vikram Seth: i couldn't get beyond a few pages of the mehras, khannas and the like. Family Saga at its best. Two Lives, his latest offering, is quite nice in comparison.

Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie: i do believe that Shalimar the Clown is supposed to be quie nice, but i honestly don't have the courage to read it after an attempt at Midnight's Children.

The Line of Beauty, by Alan Hollinghurst: It won the Man Booker prize in 2004. deals with Gay relationships and stuff. But its bad. There's something about the book that just puts you off. No, i'm not some close minded loser to have an issue with the homosexuality. I'm totally for it..but thats another discussion and i don't wanna digress from the topic. But if anyone's able to read that book, pls do tell me how u did it.

THE WORST OF ALL:One night at the call centre, Chetan Bhagat: i mean what the hell was he thinking when he wrote that book!! and i don't know why i took the trouble to read that stuff. i should've learnt from past mistakes( read five point someone)

ok these are some of the books i read more recently and truly disliked. They top my list of over rated books that you wanna beat somebody up with once you read them. I'll keep revising the list....
or maybe next time, i'll write bout my favourite books...and i'll have nice things to say for once :)

forgetfulness and femininity

2006-02-05T01:36:00.000-08:00

it's been two very wierd days.

yesterday i was helping this friend of mine settle some accounts when i suddenly had this revelation: i've forgotten math completely. like even the tables.
my conversation was something like this:
me "ok so 8*8 is 56 right?"
my smart friend "um..no...it's 64"
me "no stupid!! how could you forget multiplication!!it's 56 you idiot"
my smart friend(patiently, with no abuses attached) "no it's 64...multiply and see for yourself girl"
me...........well, i honestly couldn't think of anything to say. really..like how often do people forget multiples of 4!!so i decided to go thru all the tables..starting from 4 thru 7. i skipped 5 for obvious reasons. but how could i forget tables!!it was like this blow on my face cos i'm forever rattling on about how dumb people around me are. i'm highly averse to a lack of intelligence, and thats probably because i haven't been bestowed with intelligence even remotely.whatever!!

Then i saw this girl in college who had turned up for ethnic day in a Dancer's costume, temple jewellery and all and i wondered why....why??ethnic day doesn't mean it's fancy dress day right?

today i woke up to my some important people in my life telling me how i should be more lady like. like me soft spoken and gentle and all the rest of it! i mean i'm not that 'un'feminine for people to tell me this. i've a loud voice and i'm kinda outspoken, but does that actually make me manly? do i have to be soft spoken and submissive to be lady like!i'm confused. honestly. and a little annoyed as well.

i think i've said enough.

i,me,myself....

2006-02-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

its been over 3 months since i posted something. quite sad considering i started blogging with the intention of writing regularly. so much for intentions...
talking bout intentions, i've been quite puzzled lately by what people intend doing. like say my principal who insisted on her name being there on the cover story of our paper.noble intention, i say. but i really dont get why people are so obsessed with themselves. things would be a lot simpler if people cared to look beyond themselves. it's bloody annoying to listen to someone, even if she's your closest friend, ramble on bout how she has the attitude to carry off even the ugliest of clothes...or about how her aunt's sister's a bitch, and the like.
sometimes i wish people would stop indulging in mindless banter. shutting up instead would be a better idea.
i don't have an inkling as to what has inspired me to post such a rude and bitchy blog, considering the fact that i'm blogging for the first time in 4 months.

2005-09-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

it's been a long day......with too many things running in my head. first i cleared he first round of a quiz i was positive i wouldn't qualify for. that kinda pepped me up 'cos there were over a 100 teams and just 25 made it to the next round....
then i had my theatre prac today, and i really really screwed it up. for the little time i've been exposed to real theatre with super actors, it's been an incredible humbling experience. and it feels horrible to perform badly in front of people who're terrific at it. so i feel terrible bout it.
besides that, i'm stuck with sooo much of work in college that..that...i dunno what i'm gonna do bout it.
ok,i sound like one stupid, whiny, annoying little girl. so i'll just stop now.

Amma and the Taj mahal

2005-09-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

recently i was driving my friend to her place in poes garden....right next to amma's place when i mentioned to her the lax in the security lately. to that she replied "oh our woman's shifted residence to ECR since this house of her's is being done up in white marble"
ok, now we all understand that amma well endowed in many an aspect, but trying to equal shah Jahan is a little too over the top. White marble house in 'namma chennai'...what next?
she never fails to amaze me. never.

2005-09-24T21:49:00.000-07:00

ok, it's been a grand total of about 12 hrs since i created my very own blog...yeah for the first time. and it's kinda not-so-great that i haven't had a single view/comment. but then again, why would anyone wanna know what i think of make-up. i think i should rename it "my strange ideas" or something....hmm..maybe i should..it makes a lotta sense.

of make up and cakes

2005-09-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how deceptive looks can be especially if your're wearing 31/2'' of complete nonsense make up on your face. And believe me, i'm talking out of experience. Make-up ruins your face, and a lot more. I can't figure out why people have to necessarily use make-up becoause they're a lot better off in their element. I'd rather smear cake over my face than appear in front of the entire college wearing make-up. I did it once and made a COMPLETE joke of myself.
Final verdict(suprise suprise!!): MAKE-UP SUCKS BIG TIME. :)